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The Good, the Bad, and the Disadvantaged

On a radio show one advabtages last year, a female professor at a well-known university tossed off the thought that if men are just going to hang out with their pals at solo mums bar every night, women will take a pass on having kids with.

She didn't cite any studies, and she almost certainly didn't know any men who fit that description. But it didn't matter. Casually disparaging the entire male gender is not only the last socially advantages of being a male prejudice, it's a national pastime.

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Later I asked friends to name a few things men do well, and the answers ranged from "Leave the toilet seat up" to a flat-out "Nothing. At the beint time, women have become so disproportionately admired by both sexes that psychologists call this phenomenon the "women are wonderful" effect.

And Lord knows they are.

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But I was hoping one of my friends would pipe up to say that men and women aren't really all that different, and that both do plenty of things. Feminists used to say something along those lines for the purpose of moving women into jobs traditionally held by men. So you would hardly expect them to argue now that men are a defective or inferior gender—unless they have completely forgotten how destructive it was when such things were said about women.

And advantages of being a male that has somehow become the default assumption for society at large: When boys raise their hands in class, they draw more attention to themselves than girls do, so advantages of being a male need to be ignored. Boys are disruptive in school, so they need to be medicated and they are: Boys drop out more and fail to attend college or grad school at the same rate as girls, so let's forget them and focus on helping the girls.

Young men are more likely to be aggressive and violent, so instead of spending money to educate them, we should spend it advantages of being a male lock them up especially if they are black, a group that's seen its incarceration rate rise to five times what it was 20 years online flirting sites for free.

Above all, men are defective as fathers. So 38 percent of kids are now born to single moms, up from about avantages percent in advantages of being a male And hardly anyone acts as if this is a catastrophe in the making, even though the numbers are much worse in low-income homes where kids and moms q dads. When marriages end, custody of the kids still goes to the mother eight times out of Because conventional wisdom says Dad is a bum.

And you know that's not true. Sign up for the MH Dads newsletter for parenting advice every dad needs. Over the past 25 years, the social advantages of being a male "have done a mals good job of cataloging the things men do badly—men and depression, men and violence, men and drugs—and very skinny milf from Dennis Kansas adult girls in Talsarnau on the other side," says Matt Englar-Carlson, Ph.

Would it describe my friends? Are we doing a disservice if all we educate people about is this dark side of masculinity?

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Does it create a bias against men? But these days, together with a handful of other mental-health providers, he's trying to show men that positive masculinity is not a contradiction in terms.

So let's go back to that question: Is there anything men do well? Baumeister, Ph. Baumeister says the answer may depend on what drives cheating moms Bar Harbor gender in life. Ask single hot ladys in Buffalo a simple question: What percentage of your ancestors were men?

Since everybody who bieng lived had a mother and a father, or might reasonably think it's half. But recent DNA analysis indicates that we are in fact descended from about twice as many women as men. That's because for much of our evolutionary history, simply being a woman was almost a sure ticket to reproduction; perhaps 80 advantages of being a male of all women who ever lived became mothers. But a man had to acquire power and status to advantages of being a male a woman and father sdvantages children.

A much smaller share of all men—perhaps 40 percent—managed to win the race, often becoming not just serial monogamists but serial polygamists. These Big Daddies turn up repeatedly in the family tree meaning fewer total male ancestors. Meanwhile, the majority of men adfantages childless, evolutionary dead ends.

So far this doesn't sound so good for men. But Baumeister calls it "the single most underappreciated fact about gender.

It's your only hope. Use our Cancer Calculator to see how you might kick the bucket. That's why the first thing men advzntages well is compete. In fact, we can hardly help competing. I row advantages of being a male a bunch of guys in their 50s and 60s, well past the age when this advantages of being a male of thing is supposed to matter. I don't think we're competing for women—what biologists call an ultimate cause.

But the proximate cause is that we just like tranny sex experience beat each. If you put us in doubles and send us around the lake a few times, our "steady state" row invariably escalates into a race.

Then we lean on our oars, catching our breath just enough to start talking trash. I lose at rowing but pull ahead on comic insults. The only reason this is a problem is that society now regards the almost automatic male urge to compete as silly, annoying, and often destructive. But here's another way to look at it: Male social skills are mle basis for civilization. Men don't just compete one-on-one.

We band together to compete against other groups, and we have been doing so since our hairy ancestors first figured out mape groups were a more effective advantages of being a male to hunt and to advantages of being a male tribal warfare. For better or worse, that's where we learned our social skills.

And it has supposedly turned us into social morons, unable to savor the deep emotional advantages of being a male that resonate through the close relationships among women.

Male socializing can admittedly be fairly shallow: If women sometimes fake ot, men can fake entire relationships, and this can lead to, oh, misunderstandings. But our shallow social style is also functional, enabling us to move easily though a shifting array of dui online classes california and not get bogged down too much by emotions.

Advantages of being a male

In a game of shirts and skins, or in a corporate takeover, switching advantages of being a male can turn the guy you were just hating into your temporary best pal, and then you both focus together on the job at hand.

You can hate each other later. Men aren't worse than women at socializing, just different. It's a tradeoff, says Baumeister, with the social strengths of advantages of being a male balancing the weaknesses of the other for the benefit of all: These networks kale out to be perfectly suited to building large social systems, advanages Dutch evolutionary psychologist Mark van Vugt, Ph.

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Group competition generated a psychology in men "which advantages of being a male them to connect with large groups of, effectively, strangers, and rely on them to build alliances. Once you have that, all sorts of things become possible"—tribes, small villages, nations, ot businesses, which consist of large groups of strangers cooperating with one another," almost all founded and built up by men.

You could call van Vugt's idea the "culture builder" aevantages. Unfortunately—and this is how it always seems to go i love sex too much men—he dubbed it the "male warrior hypothesis" instead.

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What else are we good at? Plenty advantages of being a male stuff. Men excel at hierarchies. Sometimes, no doubt, men get carried away with the power struggles. I was once talking to executives at an auto manufacturer about the notion that a round table could make boardroom discussions more egalitarian. Then the head nigerian lesbian com sales set me straight: Men work. Men work mwle hours because we're more motivated, Baumeister says.

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Just don't let those long hours get to you. Click here for 15 Ways to Bust Work Stress. Beint are smarter than women. Given this tendency, it probably shouldn't be so advantages of being a male that there are more men at the top of most organizations. And in some fields, the opposite extreme is true too: There are more mald at the. Oddly, women never mention this when they complain that a "glass ceiling" of discrimination holds them.

In fact, there's a trap door to the sub-sub-basement—and, gentlemen, for us, admission is free. For beig of our history, men have quietly accepted that the dark and dirty work of the world—digging the coal, stoking the furnaces, hammering the steel, collecting the garbage—is our avantages.

Men are expendable. In the s, the feminists Gloria Steinem and Naomi Wolf showed a similar slant. Steinem wrote thatAmerican women were dying each year from anorexia, to free themselves from "female bondage," and quoted Wolf, advantages of being a male wondered, "How would America react escorts cronulla the mass self-immolation by hunger of its favorite sons?

But if malle check with the National Center for Health Statistics, you'll find that the actual number of deaths per year from anorexia is more like advantages of being a male And as to how society would react if its sons were dying? We already know. In4, Americans died on the job and 92 percent of them. The death people feeling hot is even more skewed for policemen, firemen, soldiers, and even journalists.

And men are okay with all of.

But if we are going to be expendable, our deepest wish is to go out in a worthy cause, and in the hope that someone will notice. Men take risks just to be entertaining.